Fushigii Yuugi

Almost 11 years but i still can't move on. Today post is about the one childhood anime that i watched and i will never forget, till the day i die.

It all started when i was 14 years old, that Astro introduce to us Anime chanel and the very first anime on air apart from Naruto, Doraemon and Shin Chan was this ---> Chobits, Girl From Hell, Black Jack, One Piece, Dragon Ball etc.

But this one anime, really gets me. I was totally head to toe over it and everyday at 4.30pm i will wait patiently in front of the TV so that i didn't miss even a single episode. During that time internet was not that hypp so the only thing that keep us entertained is the television.

The anime is about two lovebirds but what make it different, is because it is between the real world and fictional world.

It is the beautiful story between Miaka and Tamahome.
So real that i myself up till now believe that i am Miaka everytime i watched the episode.

Their love was so strong that nothing can separate them.

But in the end Miaka have to return to her real world and Tamahome was just part of story book character.

What makes me cry is the last letter from Tamahome to Miaka.

"Miaka, when you read this, we'll already be seperated.

But now things are like this. I believe in you. Someday

I'll see you again. No, I'll find you. It's a promise.

Even if I look different, even if it takes a thousand or

ten thousand years, no matter what world it is, I'll come

for you. I'll get over the hurddle for sure. Then I'll say

it to you again:

"Wo ai ni"

I love you 

Did he trully Love me ?

Everything just don't make sense.

You love me dearly

I told him " I tak tahulah  you nak kahwin dengan i sebab kawan-kawan you semua dah kahwin or you memang nak I"

And he said, "Now you questioned my love for you after all that i did? All those effort,..worthless?"

...

" You don't ever questioned my love towards you. My love for you is the same as the day i ajak you nikah "

"There is a reason why i choose to marry you"

At the corner of the balcony i sat there silence. Sobbing sound clearly heard on the other side of the cellphone.

At that moment, i know he truly love me and was so afraid of losing me.

Surat Untuk Starla

Teruntuk kamu hidup dan matiku

Aku tak tahu lagi harus dengan kata apa aku menuliskannya

Atau dengan kalimat apa aku mengungkapkannya

Karna untuk kepergian kalinya

Kau buat aku kembali percaya akan kata cinta

Dan benar bahwa cinta masih berkuasa diatas segalanya

Ketika hati yang mudah rapuh ini

Diuji oleh duniawi diuji oleh materi

Untuk kesekian kali lagi lagi dan lagi

I am so in love with this song that i can play it on repeat for as long as i can.

WHY?

Because i think it matches my current situation. FYI i am still on going progress of writing all the wonderful things that happen to me.

This song is from a guy who trully loves the girl but i am going to give this song indirectly to my fiance agar kamu tahu " bila musim berganti, sampai waktu terhenti, walau dunia membenci, ku tetap di sini, bila habis sudah waktu ini, tak lagi berpijak pada dunia, telah aku habiskan sisa cintaku hanya untukmu" that is my promise to you, my love.

Kutuliskan kenangan tentang

Caraku menemukan dirimu

Tentang apa yang membuatku mudah

Berikan hatiku padamu

Takkan habis sejuta lagu

Untuk menceritakan cantikmu

Kan teramat panjang puisi

Tuk menyuratkan cinta ini

Telah habis sudah cinta ini

Tak lagi tersisa untuk dunia

Karena tlah kuhabiskan

Sisa cintaku hanya untukmu

Aku pernah berpikir tentang

Hidupku tanpa ada dirimu

Dapatkah lebih indah dari

Yang kujalani sampai kini

Aku slalu bermimpi tentang

Indah hari tua bersamamu

Tetap cantik rambut panjangmu

Meskipun nanti tak hitam lagi

Bila habis sudah waktu ini

Tak lagi berpijak pada dunia

Telah aku habiskan

Sisa hidupku hanya untukmu

Dan tlah habis sudah cinta ini

Tak lagi tersisa untuk dunia

Karena tlah kuhabiskan

Sisa cintaku hanya untukmu

A little bit of this and that

Sometimes i wish i wake up to September 28th 2018.

Sometimes i wish for my life back at February 2016.

Tired of counting days,
Tired of faking smile and happiness,
Tired of the same thing over and over again.

I am telling myself i can go through this.

I am telling myself i can ignore all the negativity.

I am telling myself i am strong.

BUT truth is,... i am very fragile. The longer i hold, the stronger the pain.

This is adulting and there is no escape.

Kursus Pra Perkahwinan

I remember the time when all of my Uni friend all excited to join the course. They told me "Kau pergi sekarang, nanti nak kawen senang, tak payah attend dah!"
But i stick to my words, that i will be attending it with the one i want to marry.

And

On February 10th 2018, i was registered to the course at Al Taqwa mosque TTDI.
It was 2 days program:

Saturday 10th, 8.30 am till 6.30pm
Sunday 11th, 8.30 am till 1.00pm

So i went there with my Fiance, Syafiq along with his friend and fiancee (Izwan and Yana)

It was a good sharing session, but for me it's a little dull (maybe because i was unhappy with the seating arrangement)

Saturday session ends and we continue with watching football (Ars vs Spurs: 0-1) -had a lovely butter chicken for dinner <3 p="">
It was so hard for me to woke up on Sunday morning to attend the second session and knowing i had to or else i don't get the cert so akak kuatkan diri juga.

It was the longest 5 hours talk i ever feel but damn it was so nice when it ends.

What i learn through out the ceramah was:

1.  Money is not everything but everything needs money
2. A guy should be very well prepared for all the responsibilities they going to carry after they said "Aku terima nikah..."
3. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship 
4. A man that hit a woman is never a good guy
5. Sabar
6. Give and take

and a lot more actually, and it is very beneficial if we go to the talk with our soulmate rather than going alone so that both can understand the roles of each other.

Sunday ended and we end up lepak at Dotty's after the talk.

Now sis dah boleh kawen! yay!

typical #OOTD at the entrance of the cafe

I Miss You

During this time of the month, where i can say peak month for us accountants, a few days before beginning of the month it would be hellish. All those stressful workload, sleepless night, high volume of inquiries etc. But it is this time of the month that i am getting some kind of feelings. Feeling of missing someone dearly. Maybe its just me (mengada).

Truth is i am missing you so much, so much that i never thought i would miss you this much. BUT you will never know it, cause i won't ever told you. I am not good at expressing my feelings but you can see it through my actions.

I am really looking forward every weekend. It is more meaningful now than it was before. Thank you for coming into my life and making me happy and i do hope that i would bring the best in your life too.

"Ya Allah, sampaikanlah salam rinduku kepada Muhamad Syafiq Bin Nasurudin sehingga aku menjadi kerinduannya."

It's Ok

All i ever wanted was to be someone's "just right" and their "one and only"

But . . 

When that 'someone' appear and love me for the way i am without me doing anything.

Love me before i even start to develop my feelings for him.

Saw his future with me, met my parents and wanted to marry me.

With all the little things i have, for him its everything he love.

I don't deserve a guy like him. A guy who have everything. A guy who can do anything.

He's smart, he knows what to do, he have a great circle of friends. (and he is super duper good looking)

I don't deserve such a perfect guy like him.

But on the other hand, i am very happy with what we had planned. Although the heart still can't believe its happening. May Allah ease everything. Amin.

You Were Unexpected Surprise

When you let go of the past, something better will appear in your life.

The best thing in life happen unexpectedly.

The best stories begin with "and, all of a sudden..."

The best adventures were never planned as they turned out to be.

Free yourself from expectations.

The best will come when and from you least expect it.

Falling in love with him was completely unexpected. There was definitely a moment when something quite magical happen between us.

I don't know when or how it happen. But It happens.

And when I say I Love you, i don't mean i love you more than you love me.

I mean i love you more than the bad days ahead of us, i love you more than any fight we will ever have

I love you more than the distance between us,

I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us.

I LOVE YOU.AND.I PROMISE I WILL STAY NO MATTER WHAT.

I dedicate this for you.

What are Words by Chris Medina.

Anywhere you are, I am near

Anywhere you go, I'll be there

Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see

How every single promise I'll keep

'Cause what kind of guy would I be

If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words

If you really don't mean them

When you say them

What are words

If they're only for good times

Then that's all

When it's love

Yeah, you say them out loud

Those words, they never go away

They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me

And I know I'm meant to be where I am

And I'm gonna be

Standing right beside her tonight

And I'm gonna be by your side

I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words

If you really don't mean them

When you say them

What are words

If they're only for good times

Then they're done

When it's love

Yeah, you say them out loud

Those words, they never go away

They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near

Anywhere you go, I'll be there

And I'm gonna be here forever more

Every single promise I'll keep

'Cause what kind of guy would I be

If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

Its a New Chapter

The hardest part of life is moving on. But it is not an impossible thing to do.

A person can 'like' 'love' another person, if they open their heart and give the other person a chance to your heart. Its the only way of a broken heart to heal.

From my previous post, yes i leave it hanging, supposed to be 'Permata Yang Hilang 4' but i decided that enough is enough. If i keep on posting about him, meaning that i am still in the old chapter, the same old book.

So its been 2 weeks and i am recovering. I recovered. I move on without looking back.

I open my heart to someone new and i hope that the person please do protect this fragile heart that had been hurt so bad.

To my future, (maybe still wandering around looking for me) there is this one song that i will dedicate to you (the lyric is what i want to tell him)

Here goes,

I had move on and forget about him,
I trully had let him go.
and now i just have you 
Have faith in my love.

Please be strong to be with me stay by my side
For the rest of your life because 
Forever i will be with you.

I love you all of my heart
And all of my love is for you
Only you.

I wish that you will be my last, forever until my last breath
Stay by my side
And we will be happy eternity,


Can you guess what song is this? It's a Malay song and i am keeping this song very close to me for a very special someone.

Someone who will never make me cry and accept me for who i am. Love me more than i love him.
And most importantly someone who will never take me for granted.

Wreck This Journal : Everywhere

So recently i’ve been eyeing myself for something creative to do and been itching to do something to keep myself busy throughout the day. Then one day when browsing in Borders (one of a bookstore in Malaysia) as usual i went to notebook parts and as usual getting some more books to ‘keep’ my eye catch ‘Wreck This Journal’ have you guys heard of it? i’ve heard of it but comes none of my intention to own nor to know what the heck was that book for. so i snatched one and peek a look inside, its rather interesting. i can’t recall the price that time but there were two of them there and  one was a normal size and the other was pocket edition one. 

this is how the book looks like

It was a really interesting book and all but i thought it was too expensive so i let it go. But that thing is the thing that comes to my mind that i really have to own, to possessed  the book. every day and night i keep thinking and wondering of how wonderful to smudge, and destroy the book (the motto of the book itself was  “to own is to destroy”)

Without me knowing, i was eligible to receive BR1M amounting MYR 250, so i hit Popular bookstore but sadly there was only 2 units of the book left in pocket edition everywhere. But its okay, at least i still own one. So reaching home excitedly reach out for my pencil color and water color, hopefully i will share some of my creativeness soon.

and this is my first hand smudge on part of the page 

Introduction

It has been since forever i left my blog a virgin, untouched. i recall all my posts that i wrote since 2011, it was irrelevant and immature writing, so off to the dustbin to go! since it’s 2015 a lot has been going on and i can’t barely believe that i am 22. yup 22. i felt like it was only yesterday i’ve finished my SPM examination, taking MUET tests, driving lesson and even entering colleges. but i have come to realisation that i am only 10 months away of finishing my degree in accountancy. how time flies.

So i am going to start blogging again, finger crossed! (hope i can manage my time for writting) but as you can see i have lost several capabilities to redecorate my blog (well that may take me some time) but i promised myself will fixed it in no time. 

A lot of new ideas, tips and tricks, journey of my life and makeup tips or hauls that i wanted to share, stay tuned and if you want to chat or share me some advice feel free to contact me through 

imessage/email: niena.aziz@icloud.com

sorry i am not a better looking person >.<